Ah the wonders of Facebook

I find myself in a weird place at this moment in my life.  I guess you can say it started the other night when I was curious about a classmate from elementary/junior high.  So I looked her up on Facebook and found her.  Then went poking around on her friends list and found more of my classmates (a.k.a torturers) and also found a woman who helped looked after my sisters and I when our family was in upheaval.  I was excited when I found her and did send her a message.  Am still waiting for a response, but if she doesn’t then at least I was able to thank her after all these years for doing what her and her husband did for us. 

My weird place comes from the classmates (torturers) and part of me wanting to know how they are doing and the other part not so much.  As I flipped through a few different friends lists I came across one of my classmates (friend at that time) that had it the same if not in some worse than we did as far as the torture went and she was friends with some of those people who gave her hell.  I thought to myself “Wow, she’s a much bigger person than I as she’s able to forgive them for what they did. After all, we were kids.”  Then the non forgiving part of me pops up and says “Forget them, they are assholes.  Once an asshole always an asshole.”  So now I’m in that weird spot of do I reach out to them or do I just leave it alone and get on with my life.  I do want to know how the one friend at that time is doing, so I will reach out to her.  But the others, I am torn.  Some things I just can’t let go and when people have been the biggest jerks to me or my sisters, I have a hard time with that.  But then again, we were just kids and what did we know?  I need to think about this some more.  I will just give it time and more than likely this feeling will pass.