Try to not panic

There are certain things about myself that I do realize and would like to change, but don’t think it’s possible.  For example, when somebody is sick I try to not be so callous.  But when you grow up in a house with a couple of hypochondriacs it’s really hard to not be callous.  Another really good example is what happened on Friday. 

My sister called me around 2:30ish to let me know there was a fire in my area and they were evacuating.  My first thought was “don’t panic, it will be okay”.  Then as I was talking to her I pulled up the local news website and read the article and too late, panic was starting to set in.  She sent my brother in law over to see if he could get through to pack up the furry children (Fabio and Bluka, my kitties) but he was unable to get through.  So I went tearin’ out of work. While still obeying the speed limits but at the same time wanting everybody to get out of my way, not quite road rage but almost, it was the longest drive of my life.  Once I got up to my area, I was shaking so bad and trying hard to keep it together. The fear of the unknown is the worst feeling anybody could possibly have.  The Sheriff wasn’t letting anybody back, even the back way was blocked off.  So I figured I would walk back as far as I could.  While trying to not panic.

I spoke to a few different people along the way and each one had a conflicting story which wasn’t making my brain relax, just putting it into more of a panic.  Finally, I spoke to a retired fire fighter who was sitting in his spot for about 4 hours. After speaking with him I felt a little bit better.  But I still wanted to get back to my house to see for myself that everything was going to be okay.  On my way back to my car, I spoke with Craig and he was trying to keep me calm by telling me everything was going to be okay, the cats were okay and to just wait it out.  But did I feel better? NO!!  So I went to wait it out at my sister’s house about 10 minutes away.  My sister and I would take a trips back to see if they would let us in and still no.  So we drove up to the high school where it started to check that out. 

My theory is this. Some kids were up at the tennis courts where the fire started and they were smoking.  Saw a teacher and threw the cigarettes down so they didn’t get caught.  Then BLAMO instant fire.  Now I could be wrong, but where those tennis courts are at is a great spot to go.  Heck I would if I went to that school and smoked.  Anyways, I was finally able to get home around 8pm Friday night and thankfully everything was okay.  I called the kitties and it was the happy reunion.  They smelled like campfire, but they were alright, which was my biggest concern.  Initially I thought that the fire had been stopped a mile from my house, I was wrong.  It was stopped about a ½ mile away.  Quite a few people had their backyards scorched and some awnings burnt.  If it wasn’t for a lot of garden hoses and those manning those garden hoses there are a lot of houses that would not be there.  One house was lost in the mess and another had their car melted.  A total of 116 acres had burned.  It’s all black and bleek right now but come spring time, it will allow for new growth and be all pretty again.

Still can't get through

Finally can get home, this is what I saw

Toasty

Passenger side of the vehicle is melted

 

One Year

 

Graffiti Night is this Saturday and it’s a family affair of fun, raffle prizes and hopefully awards for Doug and Dad again this year.  It will also be Craig and I’s first anniversary together.  Yes, a year ago I met my beloved Craig.  He is everything I have held out for.  Yes I could have settled and been miserable, but I chose not to.  I chose to hold out and wait for my other half.  I always said that I would rather be alone than in a relationship and miserable.  Life is too short and I know too many people who have seemed to have settled instead of waiting.  I was happy and single.  Whenever I was asked “no kids, never been married what’s wrong with you” I’d always come back with a snotty little comment like “you’re divorced what’s wrong with you” or my favorite “I don’t want to be with an asshole like yourself.”  I didn’t need anybody to complete me, my world to revolve around or theirs to revolve around me.  I wanted somebody to add to my happy and yet still have their friends and little life outside of coupledom.  And it has been happened.  We don’t fight, we talk things out.

We both have a great sense of humor and are able to laugh at what life has to throw at us.  But there are times when things seem overwhelming, that’s just how life works.  Our relationship is relatively drama free.  Granted we do have our few moments (3 to be exact), but I have learned it’s best to just not say anything and walk away. Talk when you’re mellow.  We are one of those disgustingly cute hand holding couples that actually enjoy each other’s company.  I don’t ever think “ugh I have to drive to Elk Grove again?”  I get excited to see him and actually don’t mind the drive at all.  He is a great dad to his son, a hard worker with his job and is a bit old fashioned which I love.  He does a lot of the little things that matter the most and I do them in return.  He is quite awesome in my eyes and I do love him with all my heart and then some.  I can’t wait to see what our life has to hold together.  Through good times and bad we will see each other through it.

I know being single sucks and after a certain age there seems to be a certain stigma that comes with it.  Especially if you don’t have children or have never been married.  But there is also something to be said for it.  You learn to deal with yourself, your thoughts and self entertainment.  Doing things on your own can be good therapy and you gain self confidence.  I’ve driven to and around Arizona, lots of trips to San Francisco and road trips to nowhere in particular.  Met a lot of cool interesting people and loved every minute of it.  You are on your own schedule and it’s fantastic.  So go take a last minute “me” road trip, take in the sights and sounds and meet new people.  Just be sure to let somebody know where you end up just in case something happens.  Go be one with yourself and when the right one comes along you will know.  Until then don’t settle, life it way to short.

Putting things in Perspective

Yesterday I found out that a good friend of the family is in UCD Burn Center with 2^nd and 3^rd degree burns on 90% of his body.  This happened 2 weeks ago.  He was working in his shop when something went horribly wrong and he was on fire then thrown in the river to extinguish the flames.  He’s lucky to be alive and his head was the part not burnt.  After hearing this last night I was numb.  It really puts things in perspective as to how precious life really is.  Although he is a very strong person and I have no doubt that he will pull through this while keeping his witty humor.  It’s still going to be a long painful road ahead of him.  He has a lot of friends and family that care deeply about him and he will need this support while he does what he needs to do.

All of your problems and mine seem really trivial compared to what lays ahead for my friend.  So grab your loved ones, hold them tight and tell them how you much you love them.  They might not be here tomorrow.  You don’t want to carry regrets of whatever the last thing you said to them was unless it was something positive.  I know too many people that wish they can take back those last spoken words and say something different.