Little Bits

Change is good

Due to recent events in my life, I have decided that change is/was needed.  So that’s what I have taken the steps to do.  I have re-evaluated some of the things and people in my life, and have come to the conclusion that some of the things I can do without or just not as often and some of the people are going to be limited to the happenings in my life.  I don’t look at this as a bad thing, I feel that this needs to be done once in awhile for a happier healthier me.

Comfort zones

I have always admired women who wear what they want regardless of the reactions they get.  I have almost always been a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal.  As for the gym, it’s always been tank top, black bottoms.  Never stray from the black bottoms.  Well last night I strayed and was a little afraid to leave the bathroom and walk out in public.  I had the song “Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini” going through my head.  She put on this bathing suit then ran for cover because of what others would say.

I took a deep breath, looked at my bracelet "Now or Never", then out the door I went.  Didn’t think anything of it really until I got the gym.  I was self conscious at first then started my work out and that’s when the self confidence came out.  I have a couple more patterned pants that I have always been afraid to wear, but after last night, not anymore.  It’s amazing what a change in the normal comfort zone can do for your self esteem.

 

Plank up – what the hell!!

I recently told my trainer that it was time to step it up again.  So he took that challenge and ran with it.  A plank up is a plank but push up style.  So you get in plank position, then lower yourself and back up into plank position.  The last few sessions of these I have felt like I needed to crawl back to my car.  But it’s the days after that really kick my ass.  He first pushed me to do 3 sets of 20 (was excited for the breaks in between).  Oh my hell I thought I was going to die.  They were hard and I didn’t think that I was going to be able to do the last five.  But I pushed through and then thought to myself that it was a piece of cake.  Then last night he challenged me to do a straight 50, no breaks in between just go.  Challenge accepted and Holy Hannah!  After I was done, I sat up, smiled and told him “piece of cake.”  He told me that is the most any of female clients have done and the new challenge has been set for 100.  Again, challenge accepted as I am no quitter.

 

 

Back to me

I felt like I have been on the edge for quite a while now and almost jumped off it when it was review time at work.  I got a not so nice review from my boss (who is no longer my boss) and things at home were getting a little tense.  I had pretty much shut down and was just going through the motions.  I just wanted to be left alone to do my thing the best I know how (still do).  Then vacation came.  Oh heavenly, long over due vacation.  There is absolutely nothing a road trip with my Pop that cannot be cured.  We packed up the Chevy and said “See ya” to California and drove up to Oregon for week long festivities of hot rod stuff, deep and light hearted conversations, as well some “A-Ha” moments on both parts (mostly mine).  Met up with old friends and checked out a jet boat tour that was absolutely fantastic.

After a much needed week and a half off, it was back to the same old routine.  But this time I feel so much better.  I am still closed off at work as it is best considering how I feel about things that have happened.  My personal life is much calmer now as well.  I am back to my goofy self with my husband and family, and they have really noticed the difference as well.  Have a new strategy with my trainer as far as eating and exercise go.  It’s not that I’m not shrinking, I am (lost 2 inches from the last time we did weight and measures) but am not losing weight just yet.  Which is fine, I feel a lot better and am even amazed I lost that considering I did almost nothing for a week and ate out that whole week as well.

But it’s time to step it all up and when I say all, I mean all.  Mental and physical.  I need to start working on me again.  I need to silence those little voices that tell me “what the hell were you thinking, that was stupid” when it comes to taking steps to better myself, “you are not as good as they say” when it comes to my job, and my favorite “you will never be a good as so-n-so”.  That one kills me.  I do have to admit that I impress the hell out of myself on occasion.  Like this weekend while doing yard work.  Turned out a lot better than I thought, I was impressed.  But at my job, I am always beating myself up and I really need to stop.  So it is my goal to end everyday as best as I can and with a “you rocked it today” attitude.  This is going to be easier said than done.  But I know I have in me to do this.