Ah the wonders of Facebook

I find myself in a weird place at this moment in my life.  I guess you can say it started the other night when I was curious about a classmate from elementary/junior high.  So I looked her up on Facebook and found her.  Then went poking around on her friends list and found more of my classmates (a.k.a torturers) and also found a woman who helped looked after my sisters and I when our family was in upheaval.  I was excited when I found her and did send her a message.  Am still waiting for a response, but if she doesn’t then at least I was able to thank her after all these years for doing what her and her husband did for us. 

My weird place comes from the classmates (torturers) and part of me wanting to know how they are doing and the other part not so much.  As I flipped through a few different friends lists I came across one of my classmates (friend at that time) that had it the same if not in some worse than we did as far as the torture went and she was friends with some of those people who gave her hell.  I thought to myself “Wow, she’s a much bigger person than I as she’s able to forgive them for what they did. After all, we were kids.”  Then the non forgiving part of me pops up and says “Forget them, they are assholes.  Once an asshole always an asshole.”  So now I’m in that weird spot of do I reach out to them or do I just leave it alone and get on with my life.  I do want to know how the one friend at that time is doing, so I will reach out to her.  But the others, I am torn.  Some things I just can’t let go and when people have been the biggest jerks to me or my sisters, I have a hard time with that.  But then again, we were just kids and what did we know?  I need to think about this some more.  I will just give it time and more than likely this feeling will pass.

Just Curious

After a few more conversations with Craig and reminding him that I don’t want to really discuss future living arrangements or weddings (which is a separate subject) I thought I would take a gander at houses for sale in the areas close by.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my house and have only been in it for going on 3 years now, its’ perfect size and love my backyard.  I spent my childhood on 10 acres and the high school years on a little over an acre (my sisters and I were so bored that first summer we moved).  So as much as I would love to stay up on the country, Craig does not want to move up my way.  I am not one for the expanding city so I am not moving to his area.  I hate driving around down there and the houses are to cookie cutter with small back yards.  I need space and a house with personality.

So I thought I would poke around on some real estate sites and see what was available out there.  I’m amazed at how low the housing prices still are.  For all the talk of the booming housing industry and sky rocketing prices, I didn’t really see it.  I saw a lot of houses that had the prices reduced due to being on the market for so long.  I told Craig what I was doing and he seemed excited.  He let me know the minimum square footage he would like and if the house had a pool that was a bonus for him.  I told him that I could care less if there is a pool or not, I want a nice backyard.  I don’t mind doing the yard work which works out well for him since he hates it.  I find it therapeutic. 

I’m not thrilled at the thought of moving yet again.  I’ve moved around too much in my life.  I thought when I bought my house that I would not be moving for another 30 years.  They can move in with me so if didn’t work out, I wouldn’t be the one moving out.  Craig will be the very first boyfriend that I dwell with.  The others never lasted that long but then again, I didn’t want to dwell with them either.  I am excited for our future, yet leary at the same.  I am hesitant on the thought of renting my house out to total strangers.  Are they going to take care of it? Are they going to be assholes and trash the place?  Are they going to be nice to my neighbors and the neighborhood kids?  Is it discrimination to say I want non-smokers only?  Do I allow pets?  It makes me twitchy to think about all of it. 

Bluka Firsts

I brought my sweet little girl home in January and she was only 4 months old.  She blossomed into a spaz with a personality 10 times her little 7 pound body.  Now she’s a little over a year old and has had quite a few Firsts this year.  Her first loves are these pillows.  I don’t know what it is about them, but she will do circles around them chasing the milk jug rings.

She has turned into quite the little hunter and brought in mosquito eaters, bugs and has a love for lizards (I found so many dead and half alive ones in the house).  This weekend, she had her first snow.  I had to laugh at her on Friday night as she was trying to dodge the snowflakes that were landing on her and when she figured out it wasn’t going so well, she went back in the house.  We hunkered down for the night then Saturday morning I had to throw her out in the snow.  She was not happy and stood there for about 5 minutes glaring at me.  Then she tried to eat it and spit it out really quick. 

 

 

 

She sat in the window most of the day Saturday wide eyed as the snow fell from the trees.

Saturday night I decided it was time to put up the tree.  I popped in Christmas Vacation, poured a glass of wine and drug the tree out from the closet.  Bluka was very excited as it was something new to investigate and play with.  Fabio could care less, but he is older and used to these things now.  After I got the tree up, it was time for the lights.  Not sure if it was the pretty colors or because I was untangling them, but she fell in lust with them.  I had to keep her from chewing on them while I was putting them on the tree which became quite the chore.  But afterwards it was worth it.  As I was putting the bulbs on the tree I came to the conclusion that she will be Aunt Bethany’s cat from the movie and waste all her 9 lives chewing on the lights. 

 

But she’s so stinkin cute

Weekend Snow

I love the snow.  I just don’t like it when it sticks to the roads makes them slushy then freezes.  It started Friday night and I woke up Saturday morning to this.

Part of my backyard

He's my special upside down snowman

 

It’s so peaceful when it snows.  Like the world it taking a time out and is just being still, I love it.  I parked at the bottom of my driveway Friday night so I didn’t go sliding backwards when it all stopped and froze over.  I built a few snowmen, made a snow angel for my Aunt and Uncle and then decided to shovel off the driveway so that I can park on it. Well now my driveway looks like glass from it freezing over and I’m anxious for it to melt so I can park in it again.  Until that time comes, I will just park at the bottom, cover my windows and pray that I don’t ski down the driveway in the process like I did when I went to cover my windows.

The weekend snow has turned to black ice on the roads and it makes for scary driving as there are those who do not know how to slow down and leave space between cars.  I would rather get to my destination safe than not at all, so I was driving cautiously this morning.  And shaking my head at those who were not. 

Oh what list to start with

Last Wednesday night I decided to compile all my music lists that I have for bands to check out into one neat little spot. And holy cow did I have lots of lists.  Lists from work, lists at home, lists in my purse, lists in the glove box of the car, lists in my lunch bag and even a few on my coffee table.  I even found my wish list.  So after compiling all my lists into yet another tablet, I started going through my wish list to see what I still wanted and what could be crossed off.  I got about halfway done with the first page and then lost all interest yet again.  I kept thinking about all the other things I could be doing.  Like cleaning the house, cleaning out my drinking glasses which I have way more than I need, organizing my pots and pans, regrout the tile behind the kitchen sink and that’s just to start on the inside of the house.  The outside of the house list is getting long too.  I am trying to keep all my lists in one spot so I don’t lose them.  I just keep adding to them.

Also since this is December, the list of all lists come out.  You know the ones I’m talking about:  “Top 20 albums of 2013”, “Top 100 Movies of 2013”, “Top 100 songs of 2013”and those lists go on and on.  But for a person like me, they are really fun to read and aggrevating at the same time.  As they are always criticized and you wonder who made those lists, what were they thinking when those lists were made and why didn’t they choose that one instead of this one.  So to make myself feel better, I will make my own which starts yet another list to add to my pile.  Craig will find them one day and then the questions, then I will just smile and say “It’s my madness.”

I didn’t think music burn out was possible

Not too long ago I read an article on NPR about “The Good Listener: Is There Too Much Music?”  A gal had written in about wanting to take a break from buying all the records, stop the playlists, stop constantly hunting down new music and artists.  She was pretty much burned out.  She said that what started out as a passion has turned into a job.  As I read the article, I thought “this is totally me right now!” and I can completely relate to this.  Once it becomes a job, it’s no longer fun.  Like the woman who wrote in, I have listened to many albums only once and exclaimed “that is a great album” and then moved on to the next one to say the same thing.  Only to put it on the shelf with all the others and never be touched again.

I do have many great albums in my vast collection but have never really gone back to listen to them because I was always looking for the next great album, afraid I might miss one and then be disappointed that I missed it.  As the article goes on they state that the sad truth is because there is so much out there, you are going to miss something.  It’s pretty much a given.  So I have decided to cut back the hours on my passion; aka second job and dust off the older stuff and give them the respect that they deserve.  What’s also going to be fun for me is to try to figure out the mood I was in when I purchased some of them.  Like Emilie Autumn who is classified as Victorian Rock.  She’s definitely not for everybody, yet she was intriguing enough that it caught my attention and then lead me to Rasputina of the same genre.

On occasion when I didn’t have my list of artists to pick up at my beloved Dimple Records, I would just casually walk through and check out the bands that caught my eye or had a unique name like Starfucker or Owl Paws.  I laughed at the name and was then was pleasantly surprised that they were good.  I have only been disappointed a couple times and those were promptly returned for store credit.  I still keep my lists at work if I read about a new band or hear one that I like on the radio (which is rare).  But as far as researching that band and checking out their discography is becoming rare these days.  So I just pile up my lists and know that one day I will get back into like I used to be.  Don’t get me wrong, I still dabble, just not devoted.  My binder is getting full as is my tablet of bands to delve into deeper.  It remains safe and even has a designated spot.  My copied cd project has been put on hold as well.  I lost interest in going through them and writing down the songs.  I even started a lovely little Word document that is all set up and formatted for this project, but there it sits on my computer desktop and hasn’t been touched for months.

What’s really great about my passion is I have my nieces now asking me to take them to Dimple so they can get a new cd as they want a collection as big as mine.  I have to remind them it didn’t happen overnight and it’s been years in the making.  A lot of time, reading and listening has gone into this as well as talking to lots of people.  They are turning into quite the little music connoisseurs and I love it.  I do take them and show them how their Auntie shops for new music.  I browse with them through the sale bins and we look for those treasures of old.  They get just as excited as I do when they find something they really want.  Then they start to argue about what to listen to first in the car, so we have to compromise.  I also tell them if they know the words to sing them loud and proud which they do.  When at home or at my house, we usually bust out and start dancing while singing.  So I’m hoping that they will be just as musically rounded as the rest of the family is and also hope that they will pass along their musical knowledge to their own future children.  I will still read my music magazines, websites and play on the “others recommend” sections of iTunes and Amazon though.  You never know what will relight the flame.

Fantastic Weekend

I don’t know where to start about the exciting weekend that was just had.  So if it seems I’m jumping all over the place I do apologize.  I will try to keep it contained and on one subject at a time.

Clairy Browne and The Bangin Rackettes

Love this woman.  She’s bluesy, gritty, rock a billy, rock-n-roll and dresses like a pinup girl from the 40’s.  The Rackettes do too.  I bought her album last year when it had to be in an import and she was signed in here in the States this year.  They’ve already toured once earlier this year but the closest they came was San Francisco.  I wanted to go, but it was the middle of the week so I pouted but silently prayed that they came back.  Sure enough they did so I jumped on those tickets.  I’m sure glad I did, because her show was sold out.  She was playing at the BuBinga Lounge in Reno, Nevada.  I asked Craig if he wanted to go, but he wasn’t sure what time he would be getting off of work as the concert started at 7pm and it takes a couple hours to get up to Reno.  As I was thinking about who I wanted to join me in my concert adventure, I thought my sister and I haven’t done our sister weekend yet this year and this would be perfect!!

It just so happened that the seafood buffet was right next to the BuBinga Lounge, so we ate seafood until we were full and happy (oysters on the half shell were just delicious).  Then we went over to BuBinga, listened to the sound check and watched people.  Before I knew it, there was the band.  Standing right there!!  I felt like a little kid, got really excited and a little star struck.  Watched them walk into the very buffet that we had been in about 30 minutes prior.  I didn’t talk to them, just watched and stayed star struck.  Roxane was laughing at me and I was kind of laughing at myself too.

The lounge opened at 6:30pm, so as soon as we were able to we got the table we had scoped out earlier and settled down for a great time.  Ordered some drinks watched the cheesy lounge singer guy as the opening act and then they came out on stage and killed it.  It was great.  They are just as good live as their cd.  I cannot wait to go see them again.  I had purchased a couple pictures of the band and brought my cd with me to get autographed.  We got to talk to them a little bit while they were signing the pictures to the nieces and my cd. I did go purchase another cd, so the autographed one does not get ruined.  It’s getting framed along with the ticket stub and will be hung somewhere in the house.

Waiting patiently for the concert to start

Up on stage just killin it. I would see them again in a heartbeat

There she is walking about out of the buffet with a Rackette

 

Casinos

The Hotel room at Circus Circus was reserved (way cheaper than at the El Dorado Casino) and the countdown began to the big weekend.  We got up to Reno, checked into our room (that was on the 19^th floor and I hate elevators) and decided to go play for a bit before eating and concert going.  We wandered around the casinos for a little bit and decided to finally play a couple machines.  It was exciting to know that they still give out free drinks.  So we ordered our drink and settled down to play the penny slots. I know, big spender, but your money lasts longer that way.  The machines we sat at were okay, so we decided to cash out what we had left and wander around some more.  We settled down again at the Wizard of Oz machines, they looked fun and fancy.  I was watching Roxane play for a bit then decided what the hell, I will play too.  Well, I activated the Ruby Slipper feature and hit a decent amount.  I almost cried as that is the most I had ever won.  Last time I played and won anything I was my 21^st birthday.

Roxane and I wandered back over to Circus Circus and walked the midway; she chose a basketball game to play.  We gave the gal the money, we each got a basketball and holy cow we both made the shot and got a nice little stuff flower.  We decided it was time to call it a night after that.  So we went to our room.  The next day we thought we would hang around for a bit before leaving, so we checked out, put our stuff in the car and went back in for more fun.  Played a machine called Buffalo, now, my uncle loves this machine because if you hit it just right you get free spins and can possibly get more free spins from the free spins you won the first time.  He’s hit decent jackpots playing this particular one.  So we thought we would give it a whirl.  Settled down to our machines and I was excited as I got free spins.  Then more free spins, and even more free spins.  I cashed out my winnings as soon as it was done free spinning and it was about time to head home.

I had to tell Craig about my luck and he told me to go buy a lotto ticket, but I haven’t yet.  Probably should.  Overall, it was a great weekend.  I could care less if I won anything or not.  I got to see Clairy Browne and spend time with my sister (which by the way had no idea who the band was, but really enjoyed herself).  To me that was all that mattered.  The rest was an added bonus.  I would do it all over again too.

 

Our lovely flowers from playing basketball

Random

Emily and Autumn were excited to get their autographed pictures.  April and I went over to Michaels and picked out the perfect frames for them and they received them Monday night.  Emily was a little more excited than Autumn.  They both could not believe that they each had their own signed to them.  I told them all about it and showed them the pictures that were taken.  Told them that I talked to Clairy a little bit and hopefully they will be able to come with me next time she comes around for a tour.  I know I will definitely be there.

Becks Bits

Wine Hoard

My beloved twin was at Hospice Thrift Store one day and called me about a wine rack.  She said described it to me and figured it would hold about 67 bottles.  Told me how much it was (or so she thought) so I told her to go ahead and get it, I would pay her back.  Turns out it was only $22!!  Talk about a score.  I couldn’t wait to get home to check it out and finally get my wine out of the hall closet.  As I got to work filling it up, it turns out I have a lot more than I originally thought.  The rack holds 5 cases and I still have 2 more in the closet. I kept one of the empty boxes for any new wine that happens to come home with me.

 

Backyard Cleanup

My other beloved sister and awesome brother in law came up to help me trim up a couple trees and take one down.  After much cutting and trimming my backyard looks a little naked, but it looks great.

 

Ready for Fall

I love this time of year.  The leaves are changing colors, the weather is cooler and it’s time to “winterize” the house.  So the trees are trimmed, barbeque is in the garage, water spickets have been disconnected from the garden hoses and covered with frost caps.  Next up is to clean out the gutters which will be this weekend.  It’s also time for my favorite day of the year.  That’s right, Halloween.  The neighborhood kids came over to help set up the tombstones and hang stuff from the trees.  The yard looks great.  Now to stock up on candy for the onslaught of kids looking for candy on Halloween night.

Upcoming concert

Last year I hunted down a cd by Clairy Brown and the Bangin Rackettes.  Since it was an import, I had to special order it.  It was a very exciting day when it arrived and it has been a staple cd in my car since.  Earlier this year she started touring here in the States and I hoped and prayed she would be coming close to my area.  Low and behold she is!!  So I bought tickets, booked my hotel and am going to get my groove on the weekend of the 19^th to Ms. Clairy Brown and her lovely Rackettes.  I am beyond excited and cannot wait to see her live.

 

So angry

Just to clarify, it takes a lot to really make me angry.  It’s not very easy to do but it was easily done yesterday.  I received a misguided interoffice message stating “all Becky does is just repeat what her dad says”  pretty much implying that I don’t think for myself and my father’s word is golden.  I saw that and was fuming angry.  Whether or not the sender was looking to pick a fight or just accidentally sent it to me without paying attention as to who it was actually going to.  Personally I think it’s jealousy of the close relationship I have with my father. Which seems to be the case a majority of the time.

First of all, I am very close with my father as my sisters are too.  We each have our own special relationship with him and are very protective of him.  Second of all, he’s a very smart man.  He pays attention to what’s going on around him, what’s going on in the news and actually listens.  He’s always been there for us when it seemed nobody else was, is my sounding board and in some cases my confidant, has been into politics way more than any of us has and I do value his opinion a lot more than others.  BUT I also do have my own opinions, think for myself, do my own research and yes depending on what is talked about will repeat what he says.  Because it makes sense and gets people thinking.  I DO NOT think his word is golden.  I’m very opinionated when it comes to certain things in life and thanks to my childhood feel very strongly about certain things and make it known.  That does not mean that they are my father’s opinions.  He does, however, feel very strongly about the same things that I do thanks to the hell my sisters and I were put through growing up.  So we do share certain opinions.

To the sender of the misguided message, I do feel sorry for that person.  I feel sorry for them because they felt the need to belittle me to make them feel better about themselves (that’s fine I have thick skin).  I also think it’s very childish and pathetic of that person to start talking shit that early in the morning.  I’d like to say it was fun watching them squirm their way out of it.  If they are miserable in their own life, then be miserable; leave everybody else out of the misery or fix whatever is making you miserable!  But it’s easier to wallow in the misery than to actually do something about it.  My father has been a mentor to many of the people who have come in and out of my sisters and I’s life.  He’s a strong man with much patience and has the morals and values that are really lacking today.  I’ve been called old fashioned and do have those values and morals which I learned from my father that yes DO DATE BACK TO THE 30’S because of my grandparents.  I’m rather proud of my old fashioned morals and values.  Because that just means that I DO NOT in any way feel entitled, feel the need to be included in everything all the time, know the world DOES NOT revolve around me (as the sender of the message once told me), am happy doing things alone, value a great work ethic that is extremely lacking in today’s society and also value the friendships that I do have as they have been carefully selected for those I want to keep around.  I have no time for drama nor do I welcome it in my life.  Not saying my life is drama free, but there is very little of it.  And if I do not want you in my life, you will be excluded rather quickly.  I’m excellent at that as again, lessons learned from childhood.  I do not need a hundred friends, do not need everybody to like me and actually work for what I have.  I am not fake nor do I need to be. If you like me great, if not I'm okay with that too. 

OH and since this is MY BLOG.  If you don’t like it, don’t read it.  It won’t hurt my feelings.  One last thing, if you don’t have anything nice to say then keep your mouth shut as I don’t want to hear it.

What's your theme

Apocalypse Theme

Put your media player of choice on Shuffle and this will be the music to your movie

First Song is the overall theme for the Apocalypse – Final Countdown – Europe

Second Song is the one that plays during your first zombie kill – The Sinner is You – Volbeat
Third Song plays while you are getting chased by a Horde – Walkin on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves
Fourth Song plays while you are being forced to kill your loved one – Party Doll – Buddy Knox
Fifth Song plays when you find your new love – Rio – Duran Duran
Sixth Song plays when you make your final stand – We are Young – Fun
Seventh Song  plays when you (think you) make it through it all – Venus – Bananarama
Eighth Song plays when you discover a bite mark on you – The Mighty Fall – Fallout Boy

Back to the old drawing board?

I had a dream about a week ago that Craig and I had split up.  So the following morning did my usual of sending him a Have a great day Love you and told him about my dream and asked if we were okay.  He said he needed some space.  I was a little set back by that as we only see each other once a week due his crazy work schedule and talk for only 15-20 minutes at night.  But he wants his space, I will give him space.  Now the callous side of me is saying “whatever.”  The other side of me is saying “he’s really stressed at work, this will pass just hang in there.”

So I figure while he’s doing whatever it is he needs to do, I will get back to basics and get my ass back to the gym, delve back into my music hobby, devote more time to my blog, get going on my house projects that have been put on the back burner and spend much needed time with friends and family.  I don’t know how long he is going to need and I can’t guarantee I will be around when he does figure out whatever it is that he needs to.  That’s the part that breaks my heart.  We’ve been together for a little over a year and I don’t want to give up on him.  At the same time I’m hoping he doesn’t give up on me, on us.  I’ve waited for our relationship, been through a lot of assholes and dating horror stories (although they are funny now).  I don’t want to just walk away.  Now I know what some people are thinking “I would just leave blah blah blah”.  But those are also the same people that would be quick to divorce as soon as something goes wrong and that’s just not my style.  Not every relationship is perfect everybody has their ups and downs.  This just happens to be our down.  So I will just kick back and relax as best as I can until whatever is meant to happen happens.

Too much for one weekend

Last week was quite the week.  I started it off with a bang and ended with one (and not in a good way).  Work was interesting, busy and a tad bit on the stressful side.  I tried hard to hide the grumpy, but don’t think it worked out quite so well.  The two things I was excited about last week was spending time with my sister on Wednesday night and then talking to Craig after work.  He always makes things better…well not last week.  Friday was a good day, finally had a little time to breathe while at work.  5pm rolls around and it’s WOO HOO WE ARE FREE!!!  3 day weekend, this is going to be great.  I had plans to go grocery shopping and Saturday I was going to go down to Craig’s early and surprise him by having dinner in the oven when he got home from work.  Then the plan was derailed. 

I was coming up to the stop light and noticed 2 cars on the light rail tracks and one car sitting at the crosswalk.  I thought to myself “look at the dumbass sitting on the tracks, don’t they know better?”  so I stopped what I thought was far enough back just in case the crossing arms decided to come down it would give them enough room to back up.  Well sure enough the lights started blinking and the crossing arms started coming down.  Before I knew it was looking at the backend of a Toyota 4 Runner as she backed right into me.  I could not believe what just happened.  I had a bad week and then this.  She felt bad for what happened and I was going into hysterical mode and couldn’t even remember how to use my phone to call my sister.  Since she wasn’t answering her phone, I called my brother in law.  Thankfully he answered and I spoke to him.  We moved our mess to the parking lot across the street and exchanged information.  She offered to wait while my family was on the way, but I told her it wasn’t necessary that I would be okay. 

She asked that I call her once they arrived so she knew I was okay.  Once Mike got there, I broke down again.  But did call her to let her know that they had arrived and I was okay.  I also let Craig know that I wouldn’t be down as I didn’t want to go anywhere just wanted to go home.  All in all it could have been worse.  The airbag didn’t go off, we both walked away with no injuries and as I told her, I would much have her hit me than get creamed by a train.  She did send me a text on Saturday asking how I was doing. If I had felt like I had been hit by a train (bad joke).  But we were both just a little stiff and sore. Claim has been filed with the insurance. Ironically we both have the same insurance company.  So it’s up to them to duke it out now.  Car is over at the body shop for repairs and I have a pretty Blue Volkswagon Jetta for a bit.

Saturday morning Bluka had a vet appointment as she was wheezing and coughing, so to be safe I took her in for a checkup.  Well, a few chest x-rays and a bottle of antibiotics later she has Bronchitis.  So she gets medicine once a day for 4 days, then twice a week with a follow up appointment.  I’m thinking I got her taken care of then Fabio starts throwing up. Which with him, I’m thinking it’s something he ate because there was chunks of what I think were other animal in it.  Who knows.  All I know if that I almost threw up cleaning it.  So I was at home this weekend with two sick kitties,  a sore/stiff neck and upper back.  ONLY to throw in there no phone call, text NOTHING from Craig on Sunday or yesterday until I reached out to him.  I’m getting to that part

I spoke to Craig on Saturday after he got home and the phone call ended with “I will talk to you tomorrow”.  Okay fine, I had a headache and just wanted to go lay down anyways.  But ended up crying myself to sleep Saturday night.  Sunday morning I looked like hell, but  I spent the morning cleaning the house and making my guest room as cozy as I could, but not too cozy.  I was hoping that Craig would come up after the week I had I just wanted to spend some time with him and just be.  But I got nothing.  No phone call, no text.  A big fat zero zilch nada NOTHING.  I looked at it as a reminder as to why I am the strong independent woman that I am and why I was single for so long.  Sometimes I just feel better off that way and this was one of those times.  Sunday night came with still no word from him, so again I went to sleep feeling alone.  But I knew I wasn’t, as I have the love and support from my family.  Roxane came up and we took the nieces to Apple Hill for a few hours, then Roxane and I went to lunch.  I always feel better when I’m with my sisters. 

Not being able take it anymore and I told him that I needed to know he would be there for me no matter what.  Meaning, I really needed him this weekend and he was being one with the couch.  He translated my “I don’t want to play anymore” comment into I wanted to be alone so that’s what he did.  We did talk and he apologized, but it still doesn’t make it any better.  It’s been a weekend of ups and downs, one that I really don’t want to ride anymore.  But it can only get better from here and I’m strong enough to wade my way through the muck and persevere.    My bank account though, is a completely different story.

Try to not panic

There are certain things about myself that I do realize and would like to change, but don’t think it’s possible.  For example, when somebody is sick I try to not be so callous.  But when you grow up in a house with a couple of hypochondriacs it’s really hard to not be callous.  Another really good example is what happened on Friday. 

My sister called me around 2:30ish to let me know there was a fire in my area and they were evacuating.  My first thought was “don’t panic, it will be okay”.  Then as I was talking to her I pulled up the local news website and read the article and too late, panic was starting to set in.  She sent my brother in law over to see if he could get through to pack up the furry children (Fabio and Bluka, my kitties) but he was unable to get through.  So I went tearin’ out of work. While still obeying the speed limits but at the same time wanting everybody to get out of my way, not quite road rage but almost, it was the longest drive of my life.  Once I got up to my area, I was shaking so bad and trying hard to keep it together. The fear of the unknown is the worst feeling anybody could possibly have.  The Sheriff wasn’t letting anybody back, even the back way was blocked off.  So I figured I would walk back as far as I could.  While trying to not panic.

I spoke to a few different people along the way and each one had a conflicting story which wasn’t making my brain relax, just putting it into more of a panic.  Finally, I spoke to a retired fire fighter who was sitting in his spot for about 4 hours. After speaking with him I felt a little bit better.  But I still wanted to get back to my house to see for myself that everything was going to be okay.  On my way back to my car, I spoke with Craig and he was trying to keep me calm by telling me everything was going to be okay, the cats were okay and to just wait it out.  But did I feel better? NO!!  So I went to wait it out at my sister’s house about 10 minutes away.  My sister and I would take a trips back to see if they would let us in and still no.  So we drove up to the high school where it started to check that out. 

My theory is this. Some kids were up at the tennis courts where the fire started and they were smoking.  Saw a teacher and threw the cigarettes down so they didn’t get caught.  Then BLAMO instant fire.  Now I could be wrong, but where those tennis courts are at is a great spot to go.  Heck I would if I went to that school and smoked.  Anyways, I was finally able to get home around 8pm Friday night and thankfully everything was okay.  I called the kitties and it was the happy reunion.  They smelled like campfire, but they were alright, which was my biggest concern.  Initially I thought that the fire had been stopped a mile from my house, I was wrong.  It was stopped about a ½ mile away.  Quite a few people had their backyards scorched and some awnings burnt.  If it wasn’t for a lot of garden hoses and those manning those garden hoses there are a lot of houses that would not be there.  One house was lost in the mess and another had their car melted.  A total of 116 acres had burned.  It’s all black and bleek right now but come spring time, it will allow for new growth and be all pretty again.

Still can't get through

Finally can get home, this is what I saw

Toasty

Passenger side of the vehicle is melted

 

One Year

 

Graffiti Night is this Saturday and it’s a family affair of fun, raffle prizes and hopefully awards for Doug and Dad again this year.  It will also be Craig and I’s first anniversary together.  Yes, a year ago I met my beloved Craig.  He is everything I have held out for.  Yes I could have settled and been miserable, but I chose not to.  I chose to hold out and wait for my other half.  I always said that I would rather be alone than in a relationship and miserable.  Life is too short and I know too many people who have seemed to have settled instead of waiting.  I was happy and single.  Whenever I was asked “no kids, never been married what’s wrong with you” I’d always come back with a snotty little comment like “you’re divorced what’s wrong with you” or my favorite “I don’t want to be with an asshole like yourself.”  I didn’t need anybody to complete me, my world to revolve around or theirs to revolve around me.  I wanted somebody to add to my happy and yet still have their friends and little life outside of coupledom.  And it has been happened.  We don’t fight, we talk things out.

We both have a great sense of humor and are able to laugh at what life has to throw at us.  But there are times when things seem overwhelming, that’s just how life works.  Our relationship is relatively drama free.  Granted we do have our few moments (3 to be exact), but I have learned it’s best to just not say anything and walk away. Talk when you’re mellow.  We are one of those disgustingly cute hand holding couples that actually enjoy each other’s company.  I don’t ever think “ugh I have to drive to Elk Grove again?”  I get excited to see him and actually don’t mind the drive at all.  He is a great dad to his son, a hard worker with his job and is a bit old fashioned which I love.  He does a lot of the little things that matter the most and I do them in return.  He is quite awesome in my eyes and I do love him with all my heart and then some.  I can’t wait to see what our life has to hold together.  Through good times and bad we will see each other through it.

I know being single sucks and after a certain age there seems to be a certain stigma that comes with it.  Especially if you don’t have children or have never been married.  But there is also something to be said for it.  You learn to deal with yourself, your thoughts and self entertainment.  Doing things on your own can be good therapy and you gain self confidence.  I’ve driven to and around Arizona, lots of trips to San Francisco and road trips to nowhere in particular.  Met a lot of cool interesting people and loved every minute of it.  You are on your own schedule and it’s fantastic.  So go take a last minute “me” road trip, take in the sights and sounds and meet new people.  Just be sure to let somebody know where you end up just in case something happens.  Go be one with yourself and when the right one comes along you will know.  Until then don’t settle, life it way to short.

Putting things in Perspective

Yesterday I found out that a good friend of the family is in UCD Burn Center with 2^nd and 3^rd degree burns on 90% of his body.  This happened 2 weeks ago.  He was working in his shop when something went horribly wrong and he was on fire then thrown in the river to extinguish the flames.  He’s lucky to be alive and his head was the part not burnt.  After hearing this last night I was numb.  It really puts things in perspective as to how precious life really is.  Although he is a very strong person and I have no doubt that he will pull through this while keeping his witty humor.  It’s still going to be a long painful road ahead of him.  He has a lot of friends and family that care deeply about him and he will need this support while he does what he needs to do.

All of your problems and mine seem really trivial compared to what lays ahead for my friend.  So grab your loved ones, hold them tight and tell them how you much you love them.  They might not be here tomorrow.  You don’t want to carry regrets of whatever the last thing you said to them was unless it was something positive.  I know too many people that wish they can take back those last spoken words and say something different.

Warning - spider story at the end

Hummingbird Action

I have two Hummingbird feeders – one in a tree and the other by the flowers in the backyard.  Normally when I go out to water the flowers, there are two Hummingbirds that come around to say hi and get a drink from the feeder.  There I was sitting there watching the little party at the feeder and thought I would try to take a picture of them.  Since they are so quick and cell phone cameras aren’t, I didn’t think it was going to work.  But I got this way cool picture of the little guy going between the lanterns.

 

 

 

Redneck Paradise

Last year I had set up my Redneck Paradise in the backyard.  Complete with sand chairs in the pool and solid chair for a side table. This year, I took it indoors.  That’s right I’m living the dream of having an indoor pool.  The outdoor pool had holes in it, so it had to be recycled.  But I can always go get another one.  So then I will really be living the dream of both and indoor and outdoor pool.

 

Cat-Face Spider (not for those freaked out by spiders)

I was doing some yard work Saturday morning and walked right through a spider web.  Normally this doesn’t bother me, but it was as strong as a Black Widow so it kind of startled me a little bit.  I looked around for the source of the web and saw this funky looking spider in the corner of the patio cover.  So naturally I had to call Michele and she came over with the girls to inspect this way cool spider.  Michele said that I should look up the Cat-Face Spider.  So Emily looked it up when she got home and found out it was the Cat-Face Spider.  Fully stretched out, it was probably about 2-3 inches, maybe a little bit longer.

According to Colorado State University - One of the most common but unusual spiders people encounter late in the season is the cat-face spider, Araneus gemmoides. It tends to make its webs near lights and in corners along the outside of buildings. Full-grown females can be quite large and have a combination of odd projections on the abdomen as well as dark indentation markings that some say resemble the ears and eyes of a cat.

Despite their large size and bizarre appearance, cat-face spiders are harmless to humans.

Its’ part of the Orb Weaver group which makes the most intricate webs.  Like the yellow and black spiders that are commonly found in blackberry bushes.  So we relocated her to the Manzanita bush in my backyard.  Hopefully she will be happier there and won’t have to keep rebuilding her home that would have been destroyed often by me walking through it.



Around the house

I am itchin for something to do since I got pretty much all of it done while on vacation.  I am thinking about ripping the flowers out in the front and planting some flower bush type plants and more snapdragons.  I love snapdragons, they are so pretty.  I will keep a few of the flowers, but the rest will go.

The Dirt Patch in the back of the house is no longer the dirt patch.  It is the happy place for the frogs, birds and insects.  It's also my happy place to go outside and just chill.  Some of the flowers are still growing, but it looks much better than it did before.

It finally happened.  I'm out of room.  All 6 towers are full and they are now having to be housed in a box until I figure something out.  I can order more towers through Ikea, but have to go to the store to do it then go pick them up from the warehouse somewhere locally.  But I have no reason to go to Ikea at this moment in my life aside from the cd towers.    So I will wait until I have a reason to go to Ikea and then will order the towers at that time.

I'm about to set up my Redneck Paradise again.  You know the kiddie pool with the sand chair in it so after work I can grab a cold something to drink and go sit in the pool. But I will wait until the weather gets warmer.  Right now, the weather is beautiful and just perfect.  Wish all summer could be like this.

His name was Feathers

The other night Bluka caught a little bird and brought it in the house.  I praised her, scooped up the little guy and took him outside.  Since Bluka follows me around everywhere I go, she followed me outside when I put him down.  He tried to get away but she would swat him back down and turned into Bluka the Torturer.  I couldn’t watch the circle of life so I turned and walked away with tears.  I shut the blinds to the sliding door and let nature take its course.  I honestly thought she killed him.

Last night I get home, go to open the sliding door and Holy Hannah there was bird in the tracks of the door.  So I scooped him up again, called April crying and told her that I didn’t have the heart to kill him.  While I was talking to her I decided to name him Feathers.  She later found a wildlife rescue place about 5 miles from my house and I called them, listened to the recording and did what they said.  Grabbed a shoebox, lined it with papertowels and placed him in there.  I kept him safe from Bluka the Torturer and called dad to arrange transportation to the rescue place hoping that he would be nursed back to health and be free to fly again.  I prayed he would make it through the night as he wasn’t opening his eyes and had a gash under his little wing.  But seemed alert and tried to fly away before I put him in the box.

I went to check on him this morning and Feathers has passed away during the night. I cried again, apologized for not doing more to save him the night before.  He will be getting a proper burial and I am going to make him a little cross as well.

Bluka the Torturer and little Feathers

After I had secured Feathers, Bluka proceeded to bring in frogs.  Guess they are not as fun as they froze when she dropped them on the carpet.  My great little hunter/torturer.